Does it EVER end???

Well, it seems that it never ends, not for me!!! First I lose Bobby, my hubby October 17, 2008. Then I lose my Sambam on February 21, 2009. Now I'm losing my home I shared with Bobby and Sambam for 3 years. I don't have the money to pay the rent or bills. I didn't get my SSI check this month due to an "investigation" on the moneys I won at the casino. They've requested I send in all the receipts, 1099s or whatever they're called, etc. That in itself, is a chore, finding all that again.

The apartments will be sending me to court anytime and setting a court date, where I will appear and have to surrender the property to them, because I don't have money to pay them.

Then I believe I'll have 48 hours to get out after the Sheriff posts the notice on the door or gives to me, not sure how that works. I have never been evicted. :(

I don't have any money to get a hotel for me and Rosie, so I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I pray they will get me my next SSI check, along with the backpay, once they figure out that I've paid the last few years for the months I had won money. I was down to about $800 owed from about $13,000 because they took 10% out of every check, every month.

I guess this is another "woe is me" post. But it helps me to vent.

I thought I already had somewhere to live, with a friend of mine. Said I could pay $150 a month to rent out one of his bedrooms. But now he is saying it's $150 a week!!! I can't pay that, that's more than I pay for this apartment! I made him confirm to me twice, when he said $150 a month. "Are you sure this is monthly and not weekly?" He said "yes, monthly". He had told me he usually charges $100 to rent out a room a month, but since I had a dog, it would be $150 a month. I said that was no problem, I could pay that. I even planned on helping him with his electric and water bills, paying a percentage of it, to help out.

Of course nothing ever works out as planned. I have to go find a bunch of boxes and get to packing and throwing things away, so there's not so much to move. It's amazing how much one (used to be two, until I lost my man to severe pancreatitis, failed liver/kidneys, etc) accumulates in 3 years. I like all of our stuff, especially because they all have little memories. When Bobby would work, he'd always come home with some kind of surprise, a trinket he'd found here or there. He was always so proud of himself, even if it was just marbles to put in my vase that I planned on putting a plant in, only water and marbles. I accidentally broke that vase pouring the marbles in it, after he died. But I can always find another one, I still have the marbles and other small round things he found, like a round die (dice) or a heart the size of a marble, etc.

I'm hoping my brother and my sister-in-law will let me stay with them for a few weeks, possibly a few months, until I find a new home. They already have four dogs and have had complaints, so I'm not sure having Rosie dog will work out. But hopefully since it's temporary, we can stay there. Also, my Dad doesn't like that idea, says that two women in one household is bad news. I'll need to stay with them a few weeks, until I can find somewhere else to live. Hopefully it won't be too stressful, if they allow me to stay.

Well anyways, just thought I'd vent and get this all off my chest for the night so I can sleep.

Wish me luck and please pray for me that everything works out for me and Rosie, that we find a new home.

God Bless Friends,
Samantha