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Friday, March 20, 2009

Rest In Peace My Beloved Sambam




I had to put my beloved Sambam down on February 21, 2009. I had spent the night with a friend and when I got home the next morning, Sambam was half paralyzed and couldn't even move. She couldn't even get off her pillow to use the restroom and had been going all over herself. My friend Josh was staying with her and Rosie, petsitting, and I guess Sambam had pooped on his jeans and by her pillow when he let her sleep beside him on the floor by the couch he was sleeping on.

When I went into the room to check on Sambam, she couldn't move. But her eyes said everything! "You're finally here! Help me!" I immediately started calling different vets to see who was cheapest and I didn't have enough cash on hand to have her euthanized. I finally remembered the vet she'd had numerous surgeries with throughout the years and they let me write a postdated check for 6 days, until my check came.

It was the hardest thing I've had to do! They took her into the back room and wouldn't let me go in with her, while they did the catheter and emptied her bowels and kidneys. Sambam screamed and cried unlike I'd ever heard before out of her. I felt so bad for her. She was already so tired and I hated that they put her through that!

When they finally brought her back to me, I cuddled her a moment and told her it was okay and it was all over now and I laid her on the table, wrapped in my mom's robe that I'd saved to bury her in.

Sambam was my mom's dog, but Mom's last words to me were "Take care of my baby!" So I did just that, Sambam lived a long, happy life of 19 long years! I have many precious memories of her and I will always cherish each and every one of them! I was never able to have children, so Sambam was like my first daughter. Rosie is my second, she's a dog I inherited a few years ago, also a miniature dachshund.

Anyways, I talked to Sambam and told her she was a good girl and she always made me happy and that I loved her and that it was okay to go to sleep and go be with Mom in Heaven now. I told her to give my recently deceased hubby Bobby and my mom "sugars" for me and to take care of them until I get there.

I then nodded to the doctor and he gave her the shots and Sambam took her last precious breath. I then asked the doc "Is she gone?" and he said "yes" and I started crying uncontrollably. I'm so glad I was able to hold it together as long as I did, so it didn't scare my Sambam and she was able to go to sleep peacefully and without worry. She really was so so tired, bless her little heart.

I never dreamed how hard that would be!!! So many emotions went through my mind, like what if she was just sick and would've gotten better? What if I had her put down for nothing, etc. But I came back to reality and realized it was her time anyways and I had been planning to have it done that weekend anyways.

I gave her sugars and wrapped her in mom's robe, paid the bill, and took Sambam with me to my Uncle's house, and had her buried there. My dad had made a little coffin box for her to be buried in and we put her in it, dug her grave, I planted some flowers in the dirt above her grave and I cried a whole lot sitting on the ground where my baby was laid to rest.

I miss you Sambam and I love you Baby Girl! I can't wait until I see you at Rainbow Bridge and we can be together again. Rosie dog misses you too baby, she hasn't been the same since you left. I keep telling her that we'll see you again when it is our time to go to Heaven. She is slowly coming back and starting to play a few minutes every now and then. She sure misses her sister that she always looked after!

Rest In Peace My Sambam! Fly and Run With the Angels Baby Girl! Give Mom and Bobby lots of love and sugars for me!!! I miss you so so SOOO much! I am always looking for you by my side and at my feet, and sometime I still see you there or avoid tripping over you when you sneak up on me. Then I realize it was a shoe or a shadow or something and not you. I miss you always by my side and in my lap. There will NEVER be another dog like you, who loved me as much as you did! Rosie is a close second, but she wasn't a puppy who used to ride around in my purse wherever I went or on my shoulders when we'd go "bye-bye" all the time.

2 comments:

Head Cookie said...

Hi there Sam,

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of Sambam I know how much you loved her and how much she meant to your mom and you. I know she is looking over you and Rosie and making sure you are filled with love and smiles. Great big hugs to you.

Samantha said...

Thank you so much Jadey {{{BIG HUGS}}}! It is so hard without my baby girl! I caught myself calling Rosie Sambam several times and wonder if I've done it more and not realized it.

I kept the Robe "tie" to remember both Mom and Sambam. I buried Sambam in mom's robe, I never washed it, so it still had mom's scent on it too, as well as mine.

It was such a sad day. I missed her the moment she took her last breath. I regretted doing it too! But it wasn't fair to keep putting her through such pain. The vet told me that she was tired and that her kidneys were failing and I had no choice really. That helped me be able to keep from going insane thinking I killed my baby too soon.

Ahh anyways, sorry didn't mean to get into all that.

Thanks for your well wishes, they are very much appreciated.

Love you! Lots! Samantha